The Purple Nissan Maxima Derelict

What’s worse than a Nissan Maxima that’s purple with gold trim? Assuming you’re not in Florida? Why, a purple Nissan Maxima with gold trim full of rust, with a busted tire, that’s a derelict and abandoned in front of your house, of course! Check out this turd-mobile:

Rusty Nissan Maxima with Gold Trim (Purple)
Rusty Nissan Maxima with Gold Trim (Purple)

I know it’s difficult to see the gold trim and the rust, you may have to click to embiggen the image, but trust me, it’s there.

Now, I don’t have problems with people driving crappy rust-buckets. Heaven knows I’ve driven my share of them, although I don’t really brag about it. OK, I do, but that’s neither here nor there. Where I have a problem with shitty cars is when people park them in front of my house, for weeks at a time, ignoring all parking regulations, and just let them decompose.

My bet is that the car was stolen, then dumped here after having been used to commit a crime, probably something most foul. I have notified the local constabulary as to the presence of this derelict purple Nissan Maxima (with gold and rust trim), but they don’t seem to care so much.

I live in a cul-de-sac (which is funnier in French, believe me) and it’s a real fish bowl. My girlfriend mocked me when I called the cops for something as benign as this, but come on. I don’t want our beautiful and quiet street to become a favorite dumping ground for ugly automobiles!

I walked past the car today, and noticed that the front right tire (not in the picture) is as flat as Keira Knightley in her anorexic phase, in other words, completely and utterly flat. I think it’s been like that for a while, but for some reason the pile of parking tickets that use to be stuck in the windshield wipers is gone. So somebody’s either knowingly accumulating a massive number of tickets for the hell of it, or somebody else is picking them up as a joke. Surprise! Your car’s getting impounded for unpaid tickets! What fun.

I really wish they’d come and get that car before it rusts away to nothing.